What a painful story. My deepest condolences for your life-changing loss and my deepest respect for the strength you show to recover from it and even share it with the world.
In terms of death, I've luckily been isolated for the most of my life from it. A few people died, but I was never around them much, I was too little to understand for one. None of them were close relatives.
I know the day will come. But I hope that my wife will outlive me. I think that's my biggest wish. But I'm sure she will. She's an Okinawan, I'm a German. Statistically speaking, her life expectancy is about 30 years higher than mine.
And yes, I know it's selfish to think the way I do. But I couldn't bear it the other way around. I wouldn't have the strength.